The team returned from a relaxing mid-season break and, having successfully dodged salad throughout the Christmas break, were raring to go albeit at a slightly heavier fighting weight.

In spite of a quiet/static January transfer market, the squad oozed confidence and quality. The line-up was the usual Kiernan, Monti, Gibby, Allen, Dance and Bottomley, plus a lucky fan; fortunate enough to have won the chance to play alongside her on-court heroes.

Lights on, beers poured, shoelaces tied; time to dodge.

First match against a team which meant business (well, they were the only ones warming up anyway) resulted in a loss. The exchange of volleys in the opening minute made the battle of Waterloo look like the teddy bear’s picnic. But the Salad Dodgers came off worse, losing players and never really recovering.

However it wasn’t long until the Dodgers made amends for their shocking first-game loss, lining up against the Dennis’s of Menace. The Christmas cobwebs were, by now, well and truly shaken off and for their second match the Salad Dodgers led from the start.

It only took two sets to complete the annihilation; Gibby hammering the final nail in the coffin with a brutal post-whistle chest-shot winding the opposition and sending a clear message that the Salad Dodgers were back in town.

The momentum remained with the Dodgers for their final match of the evening and the opposition were stuffed (much like countless Christmas turkeys just a few weeks previously). In fact, the win was so decisive that all seven team members survived; standing tall and proud on the field of battle when the final whistle came. It was a majestic sight, one spectator dubbing the team the “Seven Wonders of the World”.

The team sheet looked good on paper; Kiernan, Verrini, Doyle, Allen, Snowling and Monti with sub, Oliver, deputising for drop out Burrows.

The first game was a convincing victory. In fact, the Salad Dodgers hardly broke a sweat with one spectator commenting that it was as if the opposition just hadn’t turned up on the day.

Verrini was rampant at the start of every game, beating everybody to the game line to claim the ball. And although his enthusiasm was admirable, his hearing was less so; he confused the whistle on the next court for ours, on a hat-trick of occasions. 

Mark ‘Dodge This!’ Doyle highlighted the Salad Dodgers’ tactical game play, stealthily hugging the touchline so tightly that spectators and team members were rarely aware he was in the game at all.
 
From this position of exceptional strength the Salad dodgers’ chances quickly went the shape of the pear. And Captain Mike Kiernan made himself unavailable for comment after the final game, fuelling speculation that he will take some time out from the rigorous demands of dodgeball to rest his back. However the highlight of the night arrived late with Mikki serenading a rapidly depleting crowd to the tune of The Killers’ “Are we Human?” Arguably, yes. But simple mistakes cannot continue if the Salad Dodgers are to conquer the court.

Round 1

Round 2

Round 3

Post game entertainment